I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
my liver is dry heaving
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
