Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I had to cum in my sink.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
