Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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