pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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