hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
