guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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