If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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