so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
