You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
