just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
