Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
