Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
