I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
