Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
