Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
