My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
