That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
