Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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