were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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