Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
