if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
