I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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