I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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