Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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