Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
