thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Randomize
