I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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