my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
