It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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