May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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