Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
