You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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