covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
