I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
