i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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