he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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