Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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