Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
