No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
