Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
