I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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