I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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