Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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