How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
