i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
