Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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