I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
