I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
