Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
