just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
