Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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