Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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